It’s at this moment I see the end of my formal education and status as a student. Momentarily (with this word being relative), I will be thrust into the churning wheels of business and economy to become an employee to someone else wishes and desires. I accept this. One must pay their dues before being able to stake a claim in this world. I must accept that though my education draws to a close I never stop learning.
God has graced me with much fortune and opportunity in the way of talents, skills and teachers to shape and mold me. Does this mean good fortune and smooth sailings are in my immediate future? Hardly. The calm I experience now is merely the calm of the storm, the eye, which I find myself within. Coming are the trials that will determine my merit and whether I am more than a boy who’s good fortune and witty comebacks have carried him. Or, that I might be more than that. Someone deserving of seeing my efforts come to fruition.
This day is fast approaching.
But no longer do I fear for my inadequacies and weaknesses. Do I succumb to my insecurities? Do I answer to another man for the man I’m becoming? I am, what may be for the first time in my life, which I would like to be. Still flawed and ever so far from perfect. But standing on my own none the less.
Much has happened in the matter of a week. Whether you find yourself on the southern or northern hemisphere, time is time and it passes all the same. Thought it may pass at a snails pace or faster than you can comprehend. It passes as it has since before time was measured. And what a week I have seen.
It’s hard to imagine a life changing in an instant. And to realize how many instances can be found in a week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. I’m still trying to figure out what really has happened and where all this leaves me standing. The only thing I can be assured of though is that I am indeed still standing.
Three months is an eternity to dream and wish upon unfamiliar stars. Stars I’m tempted to place upon my own body. Three months is a lifetime waiting for reality to find me and bring me home. To wake me up and either bond me to a life of servitude or set me free forever.
But for now I’ll lovingly count the days. As I have. And as I always will.
Goodnight. :*
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I get the part about counting. It never stops. I count until the day I leave, then I count, trying to slow time down, until I have to go home, and then I book another ticket and begin counting again.
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